Team Bio

Not a family. Not a team. Just people who peaked at different times.

At Burnt Legacy, we’re not here to inspire you. We’re here because none of us ever really got over it—and now it’s merch.

This is the crew behind the scenes. The people printing your pain. The ones who understand that gym class was never “just gym class.”

Mike - Keeper of the Crates

Bio: Besides creating the original shirts (and buying them immediately) he makes sure your emotional package shows up at your door. Has personally wrestled printers, shipping labels, and one raccoon.

Peaked When: He kicked a kickball through a basketball hoop in Middle School Gym. He was thrown out at first base.

Fun Fact: When he isn't rocking our merch, he still wears his "Iron man" cut off from High School. (Dead Lift Champion)

Katherine - Emotional Triage Officer

Bio: The only one on the team with actual empathy. Handles emails from parents, kids, and people who accidentally joined our newsletter.

Peaked When: 2003, as unofficial captain of her dodgeball team—took three kids out in one round and walked off like it was nothing.

Fun Fact: Responds to every angry email with a polite tone and a single deep sigh

Matt - Syntax Resentment Specialist

Bio: Writes some. Also gives his ideas to the team (read: Coach Gary) for video and blog content. Sometimes we even listen to him.

Peaked When: Scored 8 points in a middle school basketball game.

Fun Fact: Got ejected for correcting the referee’s grammar in that same game.

Coach Gary - Reluctant Brand Prophet

Bio: Our leader. Speaks in riddles, stretch routines, and vaguely threatening metaphors. Will not respond to emails. Hasn't worn sleeves since 2004. Claims it's for “range of motion.” It’s not.

Peaked When: 1989, when his JV basketball team made regionals and he screamed “DEFENSE!” so hard he threw out his back.

Fun Fact: Owns nine identical pairs of gym shorts labeled "Tuesday"

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"This newsletter is my greatest non-athletic achievement. It's for the ones still trying to out-hustle their past. Expect drops, broken wisdom, and stories I’m legally not allowed to tell on school property."

- Coach Gary