Terms of Emotional Surrender

By visiting this site, making a purchase, or silently nodding at a t-shirt that reminded you of That One Game, you agree to the following terms—willingly or otherwise:

1. You Peaked. You Accept That.

You understand that Burnt Legacy is not here to help you move on. We are here to help you live in it, wrap it in cotton, and possibly wear it to a parent-teacher conference.

2. Orders Are Real. So Is Regret.

When you place an order, you're initiating a transaction rooted in nostalgia and poor coping mechanisms. We fulfill it with care, occasionally tears, and ship it using actual logistics—not childhood dreams.

3. Our Products Are Not Magical.

They won’t make you faster, stronger, or emotionally whole. They will make you look like someone who knows what it’s like to be chosen second-to-last, and still give 110%.

4. Returns Are Case-by-Case, Like Bench Assignments.

We get it—sometimes things don’t fit (physically or emotionally). Reach out. Be honest. Use your indoor voice.

5. Coach Gary Is Not Legally Responsible for Anything.

He’s a fictional character. Mostly. If he shows up in your dreams again, that’s on you.

6. By Engaging with Burnt Legacy, You Join Something Bigger.

Not a legal cult. Just a shared understanding that the glory was real, even if no one else remembers it.

If you disagree with these terms, you may quietly exit the gymnasium of your mind.
If you agree, hit checkout and stretch your calves. This is only the beginning.