You trained like an animal. You warmed up like a champ. You even wore compression sleeves… to watch from the sidelines. This tee is for the genetically gifted, mentally unstable few who were “built different” but never quite made the rotation. It's not self-pity. It's self-awareness, laminated in delusion. The bench didn’t deserve you—but you made it your throne.

Whether you’re speed-walking through suburbia or just chasing the ghost of your athletic prime, this quarter zip’s got your back. Lightweight, breathable, and built to survive both your golf swing and your midlife spiral, the smooth polyester interlock keeps its color like your memories keep their grip.

It wicks sweat, shrugs off odor, and won’t snag on the emotional baggage. Finished with a sleek cadet collar and tone-matching zip, it’s a versatile go-to for gym nostalgia, backyard domination, or just pretending you're headed to practice.

Specs, for the few still reading:

• 100% polyester interlock with PosiCharge® color-lock tech

• Featherlight feel (3.8 oz/yd²)

• Moisture-wicking, odor-fighting, life-denial-friendly

• Regular fit with set-in sleeves

• Open cuffs and hem for optimal couch stretch

• Cadet collar + matching zipper = stealth flex

• Tear-away tag, because scratchy labels are for rookies