They look at you and see bedtime stories and Bluetooth confusion. But once, you soared. For one perfect summer, you got up. This hoodie honors the slam-dunk truth you’ve never proven—and your kid has zero interest in hearing. It’s not about showing off anymore. It’s about silently stewing while they call Steph Curry “old.” Wear it. Whisper it. Dunk emotionally.

Pro Tip: Size up for a looser fit.

Built for the streets. Or the sidelines. Or the third trip to Lowe’s in joggers. This hoodie’s got that clean, no-effort, everyday look with the comfort of a post-practice nap on a wrestling mat. True-to-size with a smooth cotton face, it layers like a champ and lounges like a legend. Basically, it’s your new emotional support hoodie. Don’t fight it.

Specs for people still chasing stats:

• Mostly cotton, partly recycled, entirely judgment-free

  • 80% cotton / 20% recycled poly (standard)

  • Heather Gray: 70/30

  • Charcoal & Oatmeal: 60/40

• Fabric weight: 8.25 oz/yd² — solid, like your old bench PR

• 100% cotton face (smooth enough for apologies or dry heaves)

• Regular fit, but size up if you're in denial

• Side seams = real structure, unlike your life post-varsity

• Reinforced stitching for when your dreams unravel

• Kangaroo pocket, ribbed everything, dyed-to-match drawcords

• Metal eyelets, because even your hoodie deserves closure

• Shrinks less than your confidence